A conversation with myself.
I just had a conversation with myself...that's all I seem to have to talk to lately.
Self: I am tired of being lonely.
Self2: I guess, I am so different I will never have any friends.
Self: Don't be so negative. Prayer-Father help me to find some friends.
Self2: I want to be normal. Everybody else seems so happy. I was happy when I was a Christian.
Self: No, I don't want to be normal. I don't want to worship pagan gods or follow their holidays.
Self2: Look at how happy everybody is about Christmas.
Self: I know, right. No, no, no, it's pagan!
Self2: Does it really matter? Does any of this really matter to God?
Self: There is the law
Self2: We only half way follow it anyway. Maybe it won't matter until he comes and sets us straight.
Self: I haven't had real relationship with God since I left Christianity.
Self2: Maybe it's just an old religion.
I am tired of talking myself into faith. Where is it? Where is the relationship? Where are the miracles? Where is the feeling of safety? Please somebody, encourage me.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Anne McLeod on -
Tamla, come back to the conversation on SWW. We miss you. http://www.livestream.com/rootsoffaith
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Permalink Reply by Betty Ann Brush on -
I idendtify with you. I was a Christian and had a lot of friends. now I am doing this walk with HaShem and now I have no friends in this faith that live by me. I am all alone too. No one to share my thoughts with. I study something and would love to share it with someone. Like you, all alone. I feel at times Hashem has left me too.
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Permalink Reply by Valerie Knowles on -
Dear Tamla,
Try learning to read HEbrew.. it had changed my life is a very lovely way. HE wants to hear us read HIS words in HIS language.
Go to the hebrew Torah Reading team page here.
The "happiness" you are seeing about christmass is totally fake. We have been delivered of that lie.
Dont forget in the end we all have to answer to The Creator why we continued, or not, in pagan practices.
I know peopel taht have been told the truth about x-mass and rebelliously continue to do it.
It is beyond my comprehension why anyone would want to be in rebellion against YHWH!
You have lots of friends here..... more importantly YHWH wants you to be close to HIM. He wants to hear from you.
There has been lots of friend making in the Hebrew Torah reading class. There is a beginning class and homeschooling class. Do look into it !
Shalom,
Valerie
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Permalink Reply by Sherry Cole on -
I'm right there with you Tamla. So... we must not be completely alone right?
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Permalink Reply by Anne McLeod on
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Tamla, Gina will be in touch when she gets on SWW. She has been through similar situations.
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Permalink Reply by Karen on -
Hi Tamla, I want to encourage you to join the chat during Ross's Torah teaching on Shabbat,if you are available. He is teaching about the life of Joseph now and it is so encouraging. Joseph felt all alone too!
Joseph's feelings of being forgotten reminds me of so many of us here today who have left xianity....but Joseph kept faith and was greatly rewarded! We have to remember our forefather Joseph and hold on to the truth that our God is with us and is using our present circumstances to make us stronger and that there are great days before us! We need to always keep that in mind and heart!
Tamla, can we Skype again soon? I would love to talk with you again!
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Permalink Reply by rimmon 24 on -
Hey, this is my second message to you, i got no response earlier months ago....we are not far from each other, and since you wrote this, I FELL THE SAME WAY, it certainly is lonely in the wilderness. We got 2 major messianic fellowships in our area, maybe we could go together. I am in Charlotte area.
We are NOT ALONE in these feelings.
Most of us feel the same way. My family think i am nuts and in a cult, lol.
Please contact me, we can encourage one another and lift each other up, and have "skin fellowship" if you drive over my way...lol...
Shabbat shalom.
YOU ARE LOVED.
YOU ARE APPRECIATED.
YOU ARE SPECIAL.
YOU ARE A TREASURE.
YOU ARE UNIQUE.
YOU ARE PRAYED FOR.
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Permalink Reply by Elizabeth on -
Tamla,I think that often that the Father speaks to His children about the same things at the same time. We want fellowship and He has given us that desire. This life is meant to be lived with others ...in community. His design is that we would have a family/nation to celebrate this life with!
We have been talking about how lonely this road is for us right now as well. Just our family and no others in the area. But I think He wants us to pray for this fellowship, so that when it comes we will praise Him. You just saying that your spirit is in the same place makes me know I am not alone and encourages me. I hope reading all these responses does the same for you!
Shalom as you keep seeking!
Elizabeth
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Permalink Reply by Leo333 on -
Christmas is pagan, a compromise by a 12th century pope who sent a bishop to England to convert those who worshipped a sun god. I was far from happy this Christmas. But it is the day that has been chosen so I said Feliz Navidad to those who understood and went to mass on the 24th, took eucharist, went to mausoleum, cried myself to sleep. You are under spiritual attack, as myself and others have been finding more frequent in occurrance. Go back to some older conversations, Tom, asked the question, Am I alone, read! He inhabits the praises of His people! Lift those Holy Hands and do that war on the floor!! You are NOT alone. Its the reason why we have all found our way to this site, and the numbers are growing!!! I so know your pain and turmoil. And you are not old btw! We all wrestle. I can live with a limp :)
We Love You Tamla, maybe you need to watch the My Story You Tube Video that you can find in EWH group " A Metaphor...
He is like a hungry lion looking for whom he can devour...(he stalks; like a thief in the night)
Unfortunately we do live in a dangerous world. Not because of the people whom are evil, but because of the people who do nothing about it--Albert Einstein I have said this before as it continues to be relevant then take a look at that IDF soldier picture under that discussion, feel it with your heart! LINK Tv a great show to watch is Chris Hedges, Calling all Rebels..in my prayers
Peace be with you in spririt.
leo 333
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Permalink Reply by Leo333 on
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I responded before I read all the replies, and I wept, so many days I felt not only forgotten but forsaken, broke. At some point of every day, I cry out, especially at night, and I think , I survived another day without my beloved child... why? How is this love? My family, as well as like Rimmon, the total maternal Christian side, as they claim with words, all think I haVE OFFICIALLY FALLEN OFF THE EDGE, so here is the rub, the narrow path is sometimes very lonely, because you seek the truth in a world full of liars! Look at how many. Those other Tribal members are really starting to get me ticked as I get my butt kicked standing in the gap!! I want my inheritance and I want my childrens, I want back all that was stolen and I will hold G-d to His promises. Come to repentance Israel!! G-d hear our cries!! Deliver us from this wilderness!! Strengthen us all, make our burdens light, don't let us grow weary, where are you my Messiah? Lord hear our prayers.
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Permalink Reply by Patty Dodson on
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I understand the lonelinss you feel - leaving a congregtion or church where you were happy leaves you in a set apart place. I felt that way too. You are not alone - just haven't found your new group of believers to spend time with. These forums do help to some degree. I had a similar conversation recently and received the message that Yehovah is always with you. He is waiting for all of us to return to him. I could never go back to honoring Christian holidays. The final celebration that we will experience will be the miracle you are waiting for. I pray this little note was encouraging.
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