The realm of fear and emotional turmoil
This is just to add a little experience of my own to Sandra's post entitled "Was Jesus a Prophet of YeHoWaH" Particularly, I want to touch on her bout with fear. I like many others have made major decisions of a spiritual nature that caused a major shift in who we aligned ourselves with and what we now believe. Others of you will be able to relate when I state that I went through some periods of doubt, fear and confusion and wondered whether I had made the right decision.
I was even tempted to the point that I considered going back to the church. I thought for a moment that I could adjust my own theology and thereby gain friends and fellowship with like minded people. I did not want to be alone in this. A time comes though as you work through it, pray and read and ask questions of others that a bigger and clearer picture appears.
Once you let go of all the hype and emotion that is mainly driven by fear you come to know true shalom. A wise and discerning person should question themselves and analyze out own beliefs. Are we holding on for ourselves or for another? Do we want to serve YHVH or serve a man? Do we want to follow the commandments of the Tanakh or the whims of an organized religion?
All the answers we truly seek are found within the pages of the covenant the Almighty first revealed at Sinai. Churches and messianic churches are full of people seeking answers, but they are welded to the seams of the fabric of these ancient ritualistic societies. Fear keeps them bound just as it did me and I am sure some others of you.
Anyone who listens to a mere man spinning the same old stories week after week loaded with all the mysteries of the pagan world both now and past are opening themselves up for to emotional roller coaster that will eventually derail. Only a fool would believe that YHVH became a mortal and demanded we follow him, especially in light of the fact that there is no such thing recorded in Torah or the Prophets. We need to retrace our steps and carefully consider all the facts.
A good shabbat to all
Sinai Servant
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Nan Griffiths on -
Dear Sinai Servant,
This is a good piece you have written and so true. In my own expierence, (and in perhaps helping others), I could not get past the prayer that I would say every night, the "Shema", O hear O Israel, G-d is ONE. He is ONE, not three. He is not a "trinity", no such thing in the Tanakh. I have found that for many it is very difficult for them to get past this Trinity thing. It was also very difficult for me as well. So, what did I do? I went thru the Tanakh and everywhere that G-d stated that He is ONE, I underlined that verse and read them over and over, reinforcing that truth over time, caused me to be able to let go of the Trinity belief. Trinity is a big stumbling block.
What you say is true, that the fear of letting go of what you were taught to believe is fear at it's worse. Working your way thru it, you can finally see the error and let go.
Looking back on my own expierence, It was difficult, I perhaps made it difficult. I clung to my idol AFRAID to let go. I was AFRAID that I was going to go to hell for sure if I did. For G-d so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son. I think about that now, G-d LOVES us so much but if we reject His son He will send us to hell. That dosen't sound much like love to me.
I know that I made the right decision to let go of my idol and cling to the ONE TRUE G-d, that beside Him there is NO OTHER. There never was, never is or never will be anyone but Him and Him ALONE.
Blessings always,
Nan
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Permalink Reply by Heather Langdon on -
Thank you for posting this Sinai Servant. I too have gone through a lot of fear because growing up, I was programmed to believe all that is said in the bible about Jesus is true, and how I need to "confess and believe" in him to go to heaven. It all started one day for me when I read somewhere that Paul says opposite things than Jesus. I was shocked! Could this be true? I decided that I will go through and match up every quote Paul said and compare it with what Jesus said, and sure enough! They are different messages! Letting go of most of the new testament (all of Paul's books) was a beginning to challenge the other books in the NT. I still get a sinking feeling in my stomach, when I hear someone condemn me to hell because I don't follow christian teachings. I think this comes from the fear religion instills in you that if you don't follow all they teach you, you will be lost....
I then started researching the "holidays", starting with christmas, halloween, easter....it was easy to see they have pagan/idolatrous roots and G-d was calling me out from celebrating them.
I was so excited about my findings, I just had to share them right away with all of my church friends! I honestly thought that they would care.....but.....
After running into many arguments with fellow 'sunday' church goers because of my beliefs about the holidays, and the false apostle Paul, I decided to stop going. I couldn't go actually because G-d had revealed idolatry to me, and deep inside I knew that it would be wrong to stay. I was being 'called out'. At that point, I was always second guessing my decision, because I was affecting my whole family. We had close ties in the church and friendships were falling apart. I was saying and starting to believe things that I would have been burned at the stake for believing centuries ago. People/friends/family are still not happy with me because of this.
It gives me peace now to read the Tanakh and know that this is all I need to read, and I feel G-d is teaching me everyday, and I am eager to learn. He takes care of the fear of losing friends and family. It is really just about following Him in truth.
The fear for me now is the thought that in my lifetime I may not be able to uncover all the deception and lies and that I would teach my children falsehood. I know that my children will have to walk their own paths, but I would like to give them a head start! It took me until I was 35 years old to start to question my religious upbringing and to get rid of the fear to question it.
Shalom,
Heather
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Permalink Reply by Sinai Servant on -
Heather Langdon said:Thank you for posting this Sinai Servant. I too have gone through a lot of fear because growing up, I was programmed to believe all that is said in the bible about Jesus is true, and how I need to "confess and believe" in him to go to heaven. It all started one day for me when I read somewhere that Paul says opposite things than Jesus. I was shocked! Could this be true? I decided that I will go through and match up every quote Paul said and compare it with what Jesus said, and sure enough! They are different messages! Letting go of most of the new testament (all of Paul's books) was a beginning to challenge the other books in the NT. I still get a sinking feeling in my stomach, when I hear someone condemn me to hell because I don't follow christian teachings. I think this comes from the fear religion instills in you that if you don't follow all they teach you, you will be lost....
I then started researching the "holidays", starting with christmas, halloween, easter....it was easy to see they have pagan/idolatrous roots and G-d was calling me out from celebrating them.
I was so excited about my findings, I just had to share them right away with all of my church friends! I honestly thought that they would care.....but.....
After running into many arguments with fellow 'sunday' church goers because of my beliefs about the holidays, and the false apostle Paul, I decided to stop going. I couldn't go actually because G-d had revealed idolatry to me, and deep inside I knew that it would be wrong to stay. I was being 'called out'. At that point, I was always second guessing my decision, because I was affecting my whole family. We had close ties in the church and friendships were falling apart. I was saying and starting to believe things that I would have been burned at the stake for believing centuries ago. People/friends/family are still not happy with me because of this.
It gives me peace now to read the Tanakh and know that this is all I need to read, and I feel G-d is teaching me everyday, and I am eager to learn. He takes care of the fear of losing friends and family. It is really just about following Him in truth.
The fear for me now is the thought that in my lifetime I may not be able to uncover all the deception and lies and that I would teach my children falsehood. I know that my children will have to walk their own paths, but I would like to give them a head start! It took me until I was 35 years old to start to question my religious upbringing and to get rid of the fear to question it.
Shalom,
Heather
Shalom Heather, yeah the fear thing can be quite a traumatic experience for anyone confronted with it. The trouble is that the friends, family and past like minded believers we once knew, want to keep us in fear and condemn us to an eternal hell that has to be milked and squeezed from their usurping writings. All invented by the masters of purveying fear – the catholic church.
Once you start to peel away the layers of lies, deception and pure pagan fantasy you can let the dust settle and get on with coming back to the only savior (YHVH) and the true covenant which He gave to the nation of Israel at Sinai. You will find many conflicting statements between Paul and J.C. This fact and others needing serious attention don’t seem to bother Christians and messianics, so I am happy to leave them to it and get on with my own stuff. You hit the nail on the head. Religion causes fear. And yet, the fear can be dispelled if we would just look at what is written in the Tanakh. Our loving creator has not set a trap for us, nor has He sadistically baited us. He has plainly spelled it out for us in His word and it is up to us to look into these things and make up our minds based on the facts found.
Idolatry is a hard thing to shake off. Many of us have trodden the cold hard cobble stones of rejection and ridicule. I for one have no regrets and could not be tempted back. Holidays go hand in hand with idolatry. You can’t have one without the other. You will upset a few when you let go, but don’t look back. Make up your mind to follow truth and not idolatry. Once you get the call to come out, you can be sure it will be a rough ride, but the results are worth it.
YHVH will not leave you or forsake you, friends will, family will, and so will the many idolaters you know. He has a plan for you. He said He knows the thoughts He has for you; thoughts to do you good and not evil, to give you an expected end….Jer 29:11. Have a good day.
Sinai Servant
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Permalink Reply by Tamla Boone on -
Dear Mr Servant,
What a profound piece of encouragement! Thank you so much for sharing a piece of your heart that so much patterns mine. I praise Yahweh for your passion and strength.
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Permalink Reply by Tamla Boone on
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You are exactly right Nan. Disassembling the Trinity was the beginning for me, too. I love the way you used the bible to support yourself through hard times.
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Permalink Reply by Valerie Knowles on -
thank you sanai servant,
I ahve times of fear and turmoil alot lately. Moslty to do with the diety issue. MOST messies are still into it, and when they discover somoen who is not they lashon hara them, "mark and avoid' and do lots of damage to them. They make it a "salvation issue" I jsut want to go hide in a closet and stay ourt of the line of fire..... I used to argue aganst it in the 70's and 80's but I am so tired of it. I am tired of the judgments from trinies and twinies. I worship YHWH only, because that is what i am supposed to do. I love Yeshua for his perfect walk taht he did, and how he told us to worship YHWH only.
That somehow makes me a bad person to be avoided ??
Please Messaih come !! I want to be in The Land with brother Judah!
That is the fear, sadness and turmoil I feel.
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Permalink Reply by ronald wayne copeland on -
Did you see the Torah reading today Genesis 48:11 Israel said to Yosef , I never expected to see even you again, but God has allowed me to see your children too!
Valerie Knowles said:thank you sanai servant,
I ahve times of fear and turmoil alot lately. Moslty to do with the diety issue. MOST messies are still into it, and when they discover somoen who is not they lashon hara them, "mark and avoid' and do lots of damage to them. They make it a "salvation issue" I jsut want to go hide in a closet and stay ourt of the line of fire..... I used to argue aganst it in the 70's and 80's but I am so tired of it. I am tired of the judgments from trinies and twinies. I worship YHWH only, because that is what i am supposed to do. I love Yeshua for his perfect walk taht he did, and how he told us to worship YHWH only.
That somehow makes me a bad person to be avoided ??
Please Messaih come !! I want to be in The Land with brother Judah!
That is the fear, sadness and turmoil I feel.
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Permalink Reply by Rachel Frank on -
Fear is something that is very powerful. And is something we all need to walk out of and rebuke in our lives.
At one point in my Torah walk, I was watching friends decide Yeshua wasn't any part of HaShem and then that He wasn't Messiah. One thing I have learn is that God has proven to me is that He is leading me and when I ask for truth He gives it as I can handle it and in His time. I remember choosing truth over fear and fearing and trusting Him enough to ask Him to show me if Yeshua was the Messiah, and if so was He part of HaShem. Obviously the trinity of the church is pagan in its state and the theology is all twisted and wrong. But I would challenge everyone to also not be afraid to ask and let God untwist and toss only what He will and do the sifting for us. We have to continue studying but I have seen really bad results when I watch people search for truth in a paniced frenzy and then just jump with what they themselves find. I handed God the Messiah and the whole Issue of if He could be part of hashem and then went on my way continuing to study the Ezekiel study from Joe Good that I was already in the middle of, and trusted that in God's timing He would show me and He won't be slow in bring truth. But I also knew from past experience that sometimes the answers I am asking for I am not ready for nor mature enough to handle. Just because I have the wisdon and desire to ask, doesn't mean I am where I need to be nor am I ready for the answers to my questions right then. When we ask for Answers we then have allowed HIm to start preparing us for answers that He always knew we needed. Within a year’s time period ,through that very same study of Ezekiel that I had no idea dealt with either question and through people God brought into my life, He answered me that Yes He was Messiah and Yes He is part of HaShem. But then He also asked me straight out.........."do you understand Me", and of course the answer was and is no. Obviously all the studying we do is to come to a close relationship and knowledge of Him but the more I have learn the more I have realized I can't explain HaShem. Like it is true that no man can see God and live, so how can Yeshua be God and people saw Him and lived?! And yet, Moshe saw God's back, and pagans saw His Arm writting on the wall. The Israelites cried out, saying that they would die if they heard God's voice directly and God commended them for it and yet God spoke audibly to many! You can't see God because He is spirit but yet physical attributed are assigned and seen in the Tanach. When you study Kabala and jewish mystism (which if the godly kind, is simply the study of HaShem) you are taught very quickly that we can't understand Him while at the same time we try. My orthodox friends have asked me how I can still believe that Yeshua is part of HaShem. I tell them I know that HaShem is Truth and Justice and Grace and they agree but then I say that those are part of Him but the fact is that Truth isn't a god, not Justice and Grace and it would be worng to worship them. And that is how I see the Messiah, He is part of Hashem and but He is not a god. And my friend response was that yes they could see that could be true and not Idolatry. They also wanted me to explain how He could be part of HaShem, to prove it, and I told them to first explain HaShem to be and then they realize, both questions were the same and impossible!
The one thing that I have seen in the Torah movement is that people are casting out the fear of stepping out of the Church and paganism and the fear of man but still struggle with the fear of the unknown and searching as in a panic to find all the answers especially about the Messiah so they can explain all to other and prove themselves not crazy or heritics. I pray for the day when we walk in peace, without fear of man or without fear of not being able to explain everything, without fear of opposing beliefs and are just able to rest in the fact that the Father is leading and teaching. In a sense to not be afraid of being human, and not god. As one Jewish orthodox friend wisely said, It isn't about arriving, (arriving at the place of answers, or even arriving at truth) it is about a journey, (the journey into further truth, and into learning more and more) and to waking up in a different place in your journey each morning.
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