You might be from the "Lost Tribes" if....
Many of you will remember the popular refrain, "You might be a redneck if..." I thought it would be interesting to try this with ideas related to the Lost Tribes. I will give a few examples to start things off and I hope others will join in. Later we could collect these and put them in a single file...Here are some that Ross and I came up with a few years ago:
If you use phrases like “Shalom Y’all”, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you tell the pastor at the Church pig-picking, “no thank you, I don’t eat pork”, you might be from the lost tribes.
If everyone in your neighborhood proudly displays the Confederate flag, and you have an Israeli flag on the front of your house, you might be from the lost tribes.
If your family spends a week “camping-out” in the backyard in the fall, you might be from the lost tribes. (Sukkoth)
If you mow your yard on Sunday and not Saturday, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you know the meaning of terms like Tallit and Tzitzit, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you know that God’s name is not God, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you live on a street that you named “Torah Way”, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you find yourself eating unleavened bread for seven days in the spring, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you are aware that Easter and Passover are not the same thing, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you like to go outside and blow a shofar on the new moon, you might be from the Lost Tribes.
If you are aware that the biblical New Year is in the spring, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you know what a Tanakh is, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you find yourself reading more than one verse in a row in the Tanakh, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you have read the entire Bible, from cover to cover, more than once, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you know what happens at twilight on the fourteenth day of the first biblical month, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you know “why this night is different from all other nights”, you might be from the lost tribes.
If “spring cleaning” at your house means searching for and removing all the yeast from your house, you might be from the lost tribes.
Ross
If you’re studying your New Testament, and you're wearing a Tallit, you might be from the Lost Tribes!"
If you spell Jesus with a Y, you might be from the lost tribes. (Yeshua)
If you choose names for your children from the "Old Testament", you might be from the Lost Tribes.
If you have ever tied blue and white strings to the four corners of your t-shirt, and worn it outside your home , you might be from the Lost Tribe..
If you bring your Bible to the ball park and read it during the game, you might be from the Lost Tribes
If you have ever lit candles that were not on a birthday cake, you might be from the Lost Tribes.
If you are from Louisiana and you do not eat crawfish, you might be from the Lost Tribes
If you find yourself attracted to the teachings of people like James Tabor and Dennis Jones, you might be from the Lost Tribes
If you read the tags on your pants and shirt to ensure that they are made of the same material, you might be from the Lost Tribes.
If you have ever argued over the correct pronunciation of God's name, you might be from the Lost Tribes.
If you would rather study Hebrew than watch Sex in the City, or Desperate Housewives, you might be from the Lost Tribes.
If you own and regularly use a Strong's concordance, you might be from the Lost Tribes.
If you use phrases like “Shalom Y’all”, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you tell the pastor at the Church pig-picking, “no thank you, I don’t eat pork”, you might be from the lost tribes.
If everyone in your neighborhood proudly displays the Confederate flag, and you have an Israeli flag on the front of your house, you might be from the lost tribes.
If your family spends a week “camping-out” in the backyard in the fall, you might be from the lost tribes. (Sukkoth)
If you mow your yard on Sunday and not Saturday, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you know the meaning of terms like Tallit and Tzitzit, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you know that God’s name is not God, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you live on a street that you named “Torah Way”, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you find yourself eating unleavened bread for seven days in the spring, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you are aware that Easter and Passover are not the same thing, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you like to go outside and blow a shofar on the new moon, you might be from the Lost Tribes.
If you are aware that the biblical New Year is in the spring, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you know what a Tanakh is, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you find yourself reading more than one verse in a row in the Tanakh, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you have read the entire Bible, from cover to cover, more than once, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you know what happens at twilight on the fourteenth day of the first biblical month, you might be from the lost tribes.
If you know “why this night is different from all other nights”, you might be from the lost tribes.
If “spring cleaning” at your house means searching for and removing all the yeast from your house, you might be from the lost tribes.
Ross
If you’re studying your New Testament, and you're wearing a Tallit, you might be from the Lost Tribes!"
If you spell Jesus with a Y, you might be from the lost tribes. (Yeshua)
If you choose names for your children from the "Old Testament", you might be from the Lost Tribes.
If you have ever tied blue and white strings to the four corners of your t-shirt, and worn it outside your home , you might be from the Lost Tribe..
If you bring your Bible to the ball park and read it during the game, you might be from the Lost Tribes
If you have ever lit candles that were not on a birthday cake, you might be from the Lost Tribes.
If you are from Louisiana and you do not eat crawfish, you might be from the Lost Tribes
If you find yourself attracted to the teachings of people like James Tabor and Dennis Jones, you might be from the Lost Tribes
If you read the tags on your pants and shirt to ensure that they are made of the same material, you might be from the Lost Tribes.
If you have ever argued over the correct pronunciation of God's name, you might be from the Lost Tribes.
If you would rather study Hebrew than watch Sex in the City, or Desperate Housewives, you might be from the Lost Tribes.
If you own and regularly use a Strong's concordance, you might be from the Lost Tribes.
Views: 2
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by James Daniel Tabor on -
This is hilarious Timothy!! I am dying laughing over these...I almost want to put names of people I know in this group by some of these!! Okay, I will hold myself back..
Thanks for reminding us. I think we sometimes need a break from serious discussions and a chance to make fun of ourselves...
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Permalink Reply by Ross Nichols on -
I remember these from one of our recent UIWU conferences. This was a fun exercise. I hope that others will take their turn and come up with some more.
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Permalink Reply by Betty K. (Tabor) Givin on -
Hey Timothy, I remember some of these too! These are great! And yes, they do fit some of us quite well. I will try to add one or two more after I get some sleep. I don't think there are any on constantly getting lost and wandering about are there? If not, I will have to add one, and BTW, I don't mind being pegged as ADD. It is really no secret. It is 4:30am and I haven't been to bed yet, and I am too sleepy to take another look. Ask me what I am doing up? Been reading and studying all day today and got on line this evening and am still going...I guess that either says that I am a bit crazy by most standards or that I have found something really worthwhile to focus my life on...I prefer the latter although some who know me might say that it indicates a little bit of both!
Thanks for posting these. Laughter is great therapy!
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Permalink Reply by Pat/Avigail Robbins on -
Guilty as charged!!!!!!
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Permalink Reply by Ben Cole on -
"If your Jesus (Yeshua) is more biblically accurate than everyone in your town, you might be from the Lost Tribes"----I tried!! feel free to edit
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Permalink Reply by Nick on -
Great job! Especially about reading more than one verse in a row! Love it!
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Permalink Reply by Betty K. (Tabor) Givin on
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Okay, here goes another one...or two...
If you are constantly getting "lost" and find yourself "wandering around" trying to find your way back from where you were, or better yet, trying to find your way back "Home," you might be from the Lost Tribes.
If some classify you as ADD or maybe even ADHD because you don't conform to the norm, you might be from the Lost Tribes.
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Permalink Reply by Betty K. (Tabor) Givin on
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And a few more...
If you drink wine every Friday night and it is not because you are having Italian food, you might be from the Lost Tribes.
If you sit around your table on Friday night and sing prayers in a foreign language, you might be from the Lost Tribes.
If you know the difference between Yehoshua, Yeshauyahu and Yeshua, you might be from the Lost tribes.
If you know that Hag Samaech has nothing to do with the famous ice cream, you may be from the Lost Tribes.
If you know that 'Bereshit' is not a bad word and you are neither a Hebrew scholar nor Jewish you might be from the Lost Tribes.
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Permalink Reply by Timothy W. Thompson on -
OK, here are a few more that I had collected. Keep them coming...
If it aggravates you when your pastor says Sunday is the Lord's day, then in the next verse quotes that the Sabbath is on the seventh day, you might be from the Lost Tribes. (Bridget Nichols)
If your car has a bumper sticker that says, "Honk if you love Jesus" on one side, and another that says, "Pray for the peace of Jerusalem" on the other side, you might be from the Lost Tribes. (Brian Jones)
If you grew up in / attend a Baptist church, but have started lighting candles on Friday evening, you might be from the Lost Tribes. (Brian Jones)
If you attend a church on Sunday, but know that the Sabbath is Saturday, you might be from the Lost Tribes. (Brian Jones)
If you sit in a church service and actually read the scriptures, instead of listening to people talking about the scriptures, you might be from the Lost Tribes. (Brian Jones)
If you definitely won't eat pork or catfish, but you can't figure out if a cheeseburger is OK to eat, you might be from the Lost Tribes. (Brian Jones)
(Dick L.) If you answer your friends question with a question, you might be from the Lost Tribes. (Dick L.)
If the hat you're wearing (kippah) doesn't keep the sun out of your eyes, you might be from the Lost Tribes, (Unknown)
If you catch yourself reading the newspaper form right to left, you might be from the Lost Tribes. (Unknown)
If you have a lit Star of David hanging on the upper eaves of your house, you might be from the Lost Tribes. (Ronnie Fulcher)
If you now find yourself observing the Sabbath and saying Shabbat Shalom instead of going to church on Sunday, you might be from the Lost Tribes. (Betty Given)
If you are running around town looking for "lotsa matzah," & "charoset " and you're not Jewish, you might be from the Lost Tribes. (Betty Given)
If you celebrate Passover and not Easter and you are not even Jewish, you might be from the Lost Tribes. (Unknown)
If you are aware of the connection between "Spring Cleaning" and Passover, you might be from the Lost Tribes. (Unknown)
If you have a strong disdain for the so-called "business" calendar that begins with Monday, and ends with Sunday as the seventh day rather that the true Sabbath, you might be from the Lost Tribes. (Unknown)
If you like to "sing the blessing" before you partake of food, you might be from the Lost Tribes. (Unknown)
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Permalink Reply by Betty K. (Tabor) Givin on
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And a few more...
If you find yourself opening regular books backwards, by 'normal standards' (like you open your Hebrew Bible which you call by another name) and automatically start trying to read from right to left and you are not a Hebrew scholar and not necessarily dyslexic, you might be from the Lost Tribes.
If you like to wrap yourself in a 'shawl' (which you call by another name) when you pray, and you are not Jewish, you might be from the Lost Tribes.
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Permalink Reply by Nicole Thompson on -
These are Hilarious! Thanks for sharing!
Don't know if ya'll (oh my! even the Montana girl is saying it now!) *grin* have ever heard of Mike Clayton and the ministry he has called "Joined to HaShem", but his son Daniel did a thing similar this last sukkot in Oklahoma...."you might be a Messianic if..."! Its on Youtube! here is the link! you should check it out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwtWpaht_vs
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